Finding Happiness
I’m in several Facebook groups and often I simply observe what others ask. If there’s something I can contribute, I love to share it. So when someone asks for book recommendations, I can’t help but jump in. If you know me at all, that shouldn’t surprise you at all either ?. Well, someone asked how to find happiness in their 20’s. So I sent a list of books and decided to write an article about it.
Note: All book links are Amazon Affiliate links.
What’s Required to Be Happy? ?
When it comes to happiness, there are only 2 things you need to do. To be more specific, there are two things you must have: Gratitude and Progress. Now there are other obstacles along the way, but these two simple acts—being grateful and making progress—will being you happiness. So, how can you achieve these two things?
The 4 P’s of Happiness ?
Well, when I broke it down in my head, I realized the 4 P’s come into play.
- Perspective
- Psychology
- Physiology
- Philosophy
I feel as though perspective can come from philosophy, but honestly I think there’s more to it. Plus I like having 4 since it’s always 3 ?
Perspective ?
When it comes to “perspective” I simply find it valuable to see what you have in life. This helps build gratitude by comparing your life to others. Often this is done in the opposite direction causing envy. However, I almost exclusively do this in the opposite direction building gratitude rather than jealousy.
Finding Meaning ?️♂️
I think one of the best books to build the right perspective and foundation in which to start from is Viktor Frankl’s incredible book, “Man’s Search for Meaning”. This book discusses Viktor’s life in the Concentration Camps of Nazi Germany and how even though he lost everything (e.g., friends, family, and his life’s work) he was able to find happiness within. Although this isn’t my favorite book, if you told me one could only read a single book in their life, this would be the book I chose. Regardless of who it was for.
The Science of Happiness ?
The next best book to bring your perspective in check is “Solve for Happy” by Mo Gawdat. If there was ever a book that made me rethink how the world works, it would be this book. This fantastic book is written by the brilliant Mo Gawdat—Chief Business Officer of Google [X] (the branch of Google where all the amazing technology comes from such as self-driving cars)—who lost his son at the young age of 21. This book dives into the simple mathematical equation to happiness:
Happiness ≥ Events — Expectations
When your perception of the events in your life are greater than your expectations of how life should behave, you will be happy. ?
This book goes much deeper after this simple equation, but understanding this alone can drastically improve your view of the world. However, even with a proper perspective of the world you may still struggle with the mental side of the equations (darn you brain and hormones!). That’s where psychology and physiology come into play. To start, let’s discuss psychology.
Psychology ?
When it comes to psychology I want to share with you two books. One book I have read; the other I have not.
Become Stress-Proof ?
First I’ll cover the book I have read. This book is “The Stress-Proof Brain” by Melanie Greenburg, PhD. This book was way more than I expected, but absolutely incredible. The book starts by describing all of the various chemicals in our brain that control our mood. Once these are know, it’s the “simple” task of ensuring these chemicals are properly set and maintained. I like to think of us as dumb animals who can do incredible things if we simply trick ourselves into doing it. ? So by learning the way your mind works and then how to control it, you can alter how your body perceives stress and repurpose for positive outcomes.
Book Prescription ?
Next is the book I have not read. Now you might be wondering why I would recommend a book I’ve never read. Well, it’s rather simple… This book came so highly recommended by someone whose opinion I hold highly, Tom Bilyeu. The book he recommends has apparently been prescribed like medication to those suffering from depression. This book is “Feeling Good” by David D. Burns, M.D. and has been clinically proven to treat depression.
These two books will help you get a grasp on your mind, but there’s something interesting about the mind-body connection. The book “What Every BODY Is Saying” by Joe Navarro talks about this when learning to read body language. He discusses how your mind and thoughts can adjust your body’s positioning and movement based on your mood or feelings. However, the interesting thing is… this also works in reverse.
Physiology ?♂️
When it comes to controlling our emotions a secret trick is that the motto “fake it ’til you make it” can actually work!
Become Powerful ?♂️
Amy Cuddy discusses this concept in her incredible book, “Presence”. Her suggestion takes a slightly different perspective though. Don’t “Fake it ’til you make it.” Instead, “Fake it ’til you become it!” This book teaches you how to use power poses to alter the chemical state of your brain and alter your mood. This can help give you confidence to take on stressful scenarios with excitement rather than panic. I would also recommend checking out her highly acclaimed TED Talk on the subject as well.
Early Bird Gets the Worm ?
Knowing what to do can make life easier, but unless you implement this into your daily life, it’s possible to slip up and lose sight of the goal. There are plenty of books on habit forming I could recommend, but this one will get you going first thing in the morning. Hal Elrod’s book “My Miracle Morning”, is an incredible book that share the story of Hal Elrod and his journey to build self-development into his morning routine in order to cultivate continuous success. Having a morning routine where you engage your body and mind into practicing self-development daily will help maintain the happiness you are so desperately seeking.
So you’ve got perspective on why you should be happy, the knowledge on how your brain works, what to physically do to improve your brain, so what else is there?
Philosophy ?
When it comes to mindset, I believe the right mindset is required for long-term success. Even with the right perspective, knowledge and methods, I think there’s still something deeper that needs to keep you on the right path. Whether it’s a greater power such as God or a trust in Fate or Fortune, there needs to be an underlying philosophy you can lean on to get you through the toughest of times.
Become a Stoic ?
My personal choice in philosophy is Stoic philosophy. Here, I would recommend starting with a simple introductory book and then diving deeper in the future. That book is “The Daily Stoic” by Ryan Holiday. This book will give you a great introduction to Stoic philosophy by introducing you to many of the great stoics over the ages. Additionally, at the end of the book it will make more recommendations for going further such as “Meditations” by Marcus Aurelius or “On the Shortness of Life” by Seneca (both favorites of mine).
Subtlety Is Key ?
Another book I’d recommend for finding a proper philosophy on life doesn’t come from the Stoics, but rather a blogger. “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson, is a phenomenal read that will surely give you a easy to understand life philosophy. This was my favorite read of 2017 and is still one of my top 10 most recommended books.
Beyond Happiness ?
If you’ve read this far, I hope you’ve found this article at least slightly helpful if not at least entertaining. These books can help you on your journey to finding happiness, but it’s a journey only you can make. These are simply tools to help you get there. I will say that if you follow the 4 P’s you will certainly gain gratitude for what you have in life and build a powerful foundation for happiness.
However, if you’re looking to expand beyond happiness, I will be writing another article on how to build progress in the important areas in your life including: social life, physical health, and more.
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